Some things will sort of always sting (maybe even a lot at times), but I think what I do is just acknowledge that it stings and that it’s okay if it does. Then I take a breath and continue on. I guess that’s a kind of mindfulness. Awareness. Acknowledgement. Acceptance that it is what it is. Life and relationships and loss are just that way. Change happens. It stings. And. It is what it is. And I can move forward even as I recognize the fact.

Part of getting older has been learning to be okay with things being uncomfortable, particularly things I have absolutely no control of, many of those things honestly huge and life changing. I do a lot less fighting change than I used to. I do a lot less panicking when I have no control. Lots of mindful acknowledgment of what I am experiencing. It’s basically me honoring my emotions without trying to fix them or run from them or stop them somehow.

It’s not about minimizing or ignoring what I am feeling. Not at all. But I don’t worry much about what I am feeling either. I look at it, say “yup, I see you feeling that,” and I let it pass on its own in its own time. (This was not something I could do years back. As my T used to say, I had huge control issues with my own emotions, and it was killing me. Reaching this place was healing, and oddly enough actually put me in control instead of constantly being in battle with my fears and emotions.)

I don’t know how I could have gotten through these last few years of huge losses if I hadn’t gotten to this place.

It happened. It stinged. It’s stinging again. That’s okay. The sting will ease on its own. It may sting again. That’s okay too. It was a loss.Loss and change can be difficult at times, but it will ease. It may come and go occasionally. That’s okay. Breathe in. Breathe out.