I love your wisdom Artley (even if I push back sometimes).

I don't know whether I brought it up or L did, I guess it doesn't matter, but I wish it never came up. I have 4 years with L, lots of foundation building. I trust that she abides by our "honesty first" policy. And I know she is not malicious. I typically don't think about it, but when it comes up, it stings real bad. And it isn't a situation that can be fixed. What's done is done. I just don't like that there's a big ouch between L and I. I guess that's the nature of real relationships? Being human? I just wish I could forgive and forget, move on, not be so affected when it comes up. I guess that too is natural though?

I am pushing through my impulse to push her away. I wanted to not write her (I write her almost daily) as a punishment. Sort of like "ghosting" her. But I know not to do that. It hurts me more than her, and I actually don't want to hurt her. So I wrote her tonight, explaining everything including the push feelings. I don't want to focus on this, but since it's come up, it needs to be acknowledged at the very least.