I can definitely relate.

Sometimes it helps me to write things down so I can slow my thinking down and try to find the pros and cons of various options and decisions. Otherwise I often just go with intuition, which something leaves me a bad place.

When one gets used to doing things in a certain way, it takes time to get used to new ways of doing things. It often involves a lot of effort too especially if one struggles with mental illness.

Sometimes it is good to just aim at making a little progress at a time. Sometimes I have to take baby steps towards some goal I would like to achieve.

I am sorry that I don't have anything really helpful to offer. And I hope others here will see your post and respond with useful ideas.

Life can be so tough sometimes.