My psych nurse has asked me several times to bring my husband with me to a few sessions - not just for marriage counseling, but also to see his side of my mood swings and his perception of my behaviors, basically to see what I may or may not be reporting to her. And we desperately need marriage counseling.

I've been putting it off for a while, but I finally asked him today if he would go with me on Thursday. He has the day off work, so he could make it.

He flat out refused to go. Joked about it. Laughed it off.

We have been doing much better lately, I think because I feel so much better. We talk more, fight less, and do nice things for each other. Still no physical contact in over 2 months...but that's a separate issue.

I do think that most of "our" issues are really "my" issues that bleed into the marriage. I know it can be hard to live with a woman with drastic mood swings, rapid weight gain & loss & gain & loss, and a really poor self-esteem. He has stuck by me thru a lot of crap, so that has to mean something. He could have left years ago if he wanted to, but he's still here. Maybe only for our daughter, who knows. But I think if I can fix "me" then I can also fix "us." At least I hope so.

How long should I wait to ask him again - or should I even bother? Should I just continue working on my own issues and put the marriage as #2 for a while? What do you think?