Echoes, do you know if you can get a read receipt by gmail? That would really help me out... Like Pinksoil the hardest thing is not even knowing if he has received it. I HATE the not knowing. Thats how come I feel unconnected to him. I don't even know that he has contemplated me fondly for a single minute at all. If I knew that he had... I'd feel all better. Especially with the stuff I disclose... I worry that he might have got something and is thinking 'ok so I'm going to terminate this freak at the first available opportunity'. Maybe if he could just read receipt 'ok, and I don't hate you and I'm not freaked out' then I'd be ok.

Yeah Sunrise, I think it does mean so much to me because that was going to be how we were going to communicate while I was away. We have talked about that, even, and I made it clear to him that that was how come his responding to emails meant so much to me. He seemed to get that and he made MUCH more of an effort to respond (even just briefly) after that. And that helped A LOT. Before that... This came up as a major issue when he took a whole month off. He said that I could email him during that time (around about one email a week was what we agreed on since I was having weekly sessions at that point). And he didn't respond until THE DAY BEFORE HE WAS DUE TO RETURN. And... When I went to that session the next day I made it jolly clear to him that if he hadn't emailed me when he did then I wouldn't have shown up for that session. And he seemed pretty shocked... And then we had the conversation we did about why email was so important to me. And he sucked it up... And didn't get defensive or retaliatory at all... He listened to why I felt so upset and he apologized for not doing what he promised etc and he has been much better since then.... Except for now.

It is just hard for me... The month off was when his wife had a baby. And so I think of him having happy times with his family and I feel... Alone... So alone and uncared for... :-( Nightbird... I know he isn't perfect. I just... Want him to be better with this. So much. Onlyme... The majority of therapists I've seen wouldn't email me either for precisely that reason. One way around it... Is for you to set up an anonymous gmail account and tell your therapist to only use your nickname so that if the email is intercepted there is less liklihood of anyone realizing that it is you. That is what I do currently... Might be worth a shot if email is important to you? The billing thing is tricky, though...

:-(