So I obtained my medical records which was a pretty easy process once I got someone to sign for me. I only wanted my psychiatric noyes from 2010-present (April 2023). The reasons are 1. I can understand laws I can access them, 2. I needed to see my actual diagnosis as I believed they were hiding things from me and 3. I just wanted to know. Curiosity got me.

There are over 300 pages I have everything from letters to GP, to letters to me, health screenings outcomes etc

I have a few things I don't quite understand wording wise. Like for instance Bradykinetic while having a video call last Feb with Psychiatrist. Derealisation while having a face to face with my CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) in 2012, "personality traits " According to CPN in 2011 and finally my Psychologist had written in 2017 Avoidance Personalty Disorder. WTF??? No-one has ever mentioned this to me before. How am I meant to get better if I don't know what's wrong with me???

Today my Therapist did an ADHD test with me which I did and scored highly on. Do I want this or another label???

I'm angry and upset but plodding along