ok here i go for the next yr and 8 mnths i have got to isolate myself from the rest of the so called real world if i am to make it through the up coming stress of a long wait before i can leave this state in which i live and start a family with a girl i love and end all misery the thing is it will be very hard for me to deal with such a LONG wait and it bothers me a little because my g/f eventually going to be my fiance needs help and at this time i really ( cant ) help her becuz of a few factors one no dl's yet two no car to get there three at this time no $ either and i feel kinda like i have *failed* per say but it is not any of this which is bothering me what is would be the fact i hate to go into isolation for FEAR i shall FAIL myself as i have many times before i plan on succeding but more people think i wount then those who think i will i constantly have people bringing me down and constant bad influences and am not always the greatest when it comes to making the right choices i truely worried about my g/f so that is another reason i have to go into hiding so i can stop hearing all the problems around and pay attention to her problems so i can there for her a 100 % i want her to be and stay happy that is all i ever wanted for her but i know she will not truely be happy until i am there with her i f***ing hate feeling so useless sorta speak am a lost ship out in the middle of the ocean