Dear T: I can’t do it. I can’t say goodbye to you. How is this happening? I know you can’t feel the same feelings as me in this grief, but I feel like you are already ahead to when I’m gone. I already missing you. I’ve had at least one panic attack since Friday. What will I do without you?

E: I am glad you aren’t leaving me yet. I can’t lose both of you at the same time. You are right, you probably won’t be enough support by yourself. I already am burden enough as is. How can I get through all of this? This grief is consuming me, but I still have to find. job, pay my bills, figure out my health.

I am so so scared.