My 82-year-old mother-in-law is struggling physically and has moved from her senior apartment complex to her daughter's (my sister-in-law) home. This went on for a couple of months and now sister-in-law has ordered us (her sister / my wife and I) to watch her 50% of the time. We are doing two weeks on, two weeks off. Now here are where the issues lie....

I have a three bedroom home and all three bedrooms are in use (my bedroom, daughter's bedroom and my office (where I'm actually writing this)). So mother-in-law and sister-in-law bought a loveseat / foldout bed and now every two weeks my mother-in-law sleeps / lays down in our living room. As in, you walk in the front door and, poof, she's right there. It is so uncomfortable and awkward. I suggested to sister-in-law that mother-in-law could stay in an assisted living facility. Sister-in-law wasn't having any part of that. And I feel bad for mother-in-law because she knows it's inconveniencing us but I don't want to lose my mind either. I also feel bad for my wife because it puts her right in the middle. She doesn't want to upset her family and she doesn't want me to be miserable. Plus, mother-in-law staying in our family room is just not a dignified existence. She deserves her own room and we deserve our space.

But wait, it gets better. When we suggested the assisted living option, not only did sister-in-law refuse, she told me to stay out of it. After I collected myself, I kindly explained that if her mother is in my house and it affects me, ummmm, I DO get a say in the matter. Plus my mother-in-law smokes (I do not). She was smoking on the porch the other day and I could smell it in the house. After I lost my **** to myself, I calmly approached her and told her she's not smoking anywhere while she's here. She wanted to argue about it and I lost my **** (this time with her) and told her to pack up and she's going to her other daughter's and we're done with this. Then she cried and apologized. Good Lord.

One other piece of this puzzle is there is a brother-in-law in the picture who is not helping at all. Sister-in-law's excuses for him is he lives too far away (one hour) and is not fit to care for her (drugs). Well, when we do the turnover next week, I am going to tell sister-in-law that he has the next shift. If she doesn't agree with it, tough. Remember the part about me losing it on my mother-in-law? During that I told her we're going to get her son involved and that there are going to be some changes made around here. I then told her I don't work for her daughter and that she is not in charge. Did that feel good to say that? Yes it did. I think it's fair to distribute the workload between three homes instead of two and I sure as hell don't have to take orders from this lady. Watching mother-in-law two weeks out of six is still gracious on our part but I'm willing to stomach it. Two weeks out of four is too much.

I saw my doctor this week and explained all this to her and it is affecting my health. I have an obligation to be happy and healthy for my wife and daughter, sister-in-law be damned.

Let me close by saying I do love my mother-in-law but I also love my family and happiness and sanity. Enough is enough.