Will assisted living even take in a smoker? That would be a deal breaker for me. Do the other siblings smoke? I dont think pushing the druggie BIL to take his turn is going to work, but i think it does highlight the the SIL's over controlling.

The only good thing my mother did was stroke out and die in a single day, also in her 80's. But it was after staying out all the night before at the casino. So we never had your problem.