I have been in so much denial about this. I took all the blame for everything so that i didn't have to look at my ugly past. I have no memory but the pictures, emotions, smells ect. are freaking me out. I go back and forth between your making this up for attention to no this is reality and it is time to deal with it. I went right from an abusive home to a 20 year abusive marriage. I am so damaged that some days i truly see no hope of ever recovering. I don't have the truth about anything as far as relationships I have never really been close to anyone. Everytime I try it brings up emotional crap that spins me out of control. This sucks but I want to get better