Feeling like everything is the same is a normal thing. The self medicating made me so much more normal yet I don't want change. I'm sick of everything too. But everyone feels that way.

We're all just patterns, forming conscious entities and interacting with each other. Anyone can do anything, it doesn't matter - But so much significance, it does - Cuz there's pain, pleasure, etc.

I'll stop talking. Sorry. I'm being so stupid.

Edit: If I am to take what Angelique said into consideration, with no reply, and the anhedonia I've dealt with, what s the meaning. It's perspective. She is in a bad place. Older than me, knows more, lived life. Had mental illness too.

And SP, liking everyones posts and not mine. When I go outside in nature, i feel better sometimes - But it's not where I want to be, and mentioning of the type of happiness (I forget the word "Eudaimonia" - It's complicated to me at first, so I procrastinated) - But its... on a list. The list of everything is too long - And aren't in my awareness. I hope it's not an attempt to kill myself. Like how people hate addicts and they deserve to die.

Happiness is hard, and people are in poverty etc, they are often happy... what is soil or dirt compared to technology , if everythign is all the same im just typing lazily now cuz i can't deal with the bla bal victim me and obsession if only i could donate to a good cause but must prepare or plan for the right moment of money and money isnt real it controls everything bleeding all. of resources what if we were sea corals ........ And a Queen of the sea, people living in a sea world, underwater... people make songs like this _ and I can do anything i set my mind to but i keep changing my mind. ANd itns not enough.