|
It took 18 years to figure out what I had and it was by accident. I asked my mother about my discovery and was surprised by her response. Apparently she discussed this previously with other family members but never approached me about it. Her area of expertise was education and this is how she learned about ASD/Asperger’s Syndrome. I ended up getting two ASD assessments one in the community and the other at the hospital. Both clinicians diagnosed it.
In 1994 (when my hell started), I entered the world of psychiatry as a depressed grade 10 student who had poor grades and no friends. I wasn’t a rebellious teenager causing all kinds of trouble, abusing drugs, etc. I was just hurting because I didn’t understand why I struggled with social interaction and friendships. I ended by being misdiagnosed and put on medication that made me very suicidal and angry. It appeared to them that I was a youth in constant turmoil with a history of abuse and family dysfunction and treated as such. -- I tried to take my life because of this, since it made me question everything about myself and my family. Apparently I had suppressed CSA??? My life slowly got better after I severed my connection with psychiatry and stopped all the medications I was on.
The path to healing came 5 years after that ordeal when I developed psychosis. I got treatment for it and recovered. Strange but that illness validated my feelings and has helped me slowly recover along with the ASD diagnosis I received in 2012. Now I understand why I struggle with social interactions and anxiety. It explains my vulnerability to psychosis and why I got ill with it at the age of 25. It also helps explain the two episodes of MDD I had.
I’m still recovering today from my traumatic (and inexcusable) psychiatric experience. I discuss it in my therapy sessions and find them more effective now. Prior to that they weren't helpful due to the misinterpretation of my situation.
A diagnosis can be very helpful especially if it is correct.
__________________
Dx: Didgee Disorder
|