It can be extremely difficult for me to keep going. The meds definitely help me to keep going.

You say that if you stop struggling then there's only the downward spiral... may I suggest something outside of that: that is rest. See if you can rest some.


Concentrate of hygienic life routines such as good rest, exercise and good food and positive social contacts. You need a solid morning routine, for sure. I meditate and have herbal tea every single day for the most part.


I can only speak of what I know, and I had such a bad breakdown that it felt as though I visited the realm of hell... I am very afraid of revisiting that place, so somehow that very fear keeps me going. But, I make time for rest... life has forever changed for me, and sadly I'm not very spiritual.

Somehow, I've found the wherewithal to read again (my brain wasn't capable of it before since the breakdown) and i have started doing some writing. I'm looking for ways to sublimate my suffering.

I came across The Desiderata the other day, and read it aloud and it did me some good at the time... though now, my ennui and, sadly my cynicism has returned and now i feel so far away from how I felt when I read it.

So what to do? I will distract myself for a bit, then rest and tomorrow is a new day. You never know, it might be better.

My evening antidepressant is mirtazepine (Remeron) and I find it helps me tremendously.

I hope you feel better... keep posting!