Quote:
Originally Posted by RollercoasterLover
Building support is important and clearly you had expectations that Jay and his friend didn't reach. I think moving on is the only option left. As for not contacting you while sailing in the Caribbean, cell service is pretty spotty in the middle of water and unless the boat had the battery power to power a remote wi fi signal and basically be a floating cell tower, there may not have been a signal to use to call or text you.
From my perspective, you made an assumption that Jay was ignoring your texts with the intention of cruelly trying to hurt you. It's entirely possible that his intention was to figure out what he needed to say and how to say it before saying it. Many people like to think about their words before saying them because they don't want to say the wrong things or do the wrong things. You may be more impulsive than he is, which may mean you two weren't as compatible as you thought. If you want and expect one thing and he wanted and expected something else, things would have likely fizzled at some point.
One thing I know for sure, life has challenges we need to overcome and learn from. I hope this challenge brings you what you need.
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Thanks, @
RollercoasterLover.
Actually, Jay had wifi the whole time he was in the Caribbean. He called me 4-5 different times and was in touch at least once every day. It was after his trip that I am referring to.
And no, I don't think Jay meant to be cruel by not replying when I was anxious about seeing my ex. I think he likely was trying to figure out what to say and how to say it, as you stated.
Yes, my expectations were different than his. I expected him to want to engage more with me than he had been over the last 2 months, to show increasingly more interest, and to move closer to forming a real relationship.
But instead, he continued to keep things at a great distance - too great a distance for me - even after inviting me to go on a trip with him.
I figured after I had driven a distance to visit him at HIS home, that he would be more engaged than he was - but he still kept our communications and relationship at the same distant level. I determined that I am not going to continue to drive 5 hours round trip to see him if he's going to still keep me at such a distance.
He moves very slowly - too slowly for me... I don't need or want things to develop fast - NO. I want things to unfold at a more natural pace .
But after 2 months of sleeping together and hanging out together on a weekly basis, I did expect more, and he did not show enough interest to keep me around. I guess I figured after 2 months, that he would naturally be wanting to bring me in closer to him, but he did not.
I wouldn't say this was a challenge - I would say that this was a lesson in relationships and a lesson about my own pace. I got frustrated, and it showed.
Thanks again for your input, and thanks for being supportive.
