Dear math mind,

I know about these things... ethanol for example...

I used to wonder why my mom said that I can only have "1-2 drinks" - I thought "I can't get drunk on that little?" - But most people (Especially older), have more experience/mindfulness - Or are connected with some parts of their daily perceptions.. All people are like a pattern, always changing (But can be stuck in some way - They can enjoy their pattern, or are always miserable)..

But everything is always never the same (It seems like it's the same, but changes - un notice ably, by a 1% decrease or increase etc.. - And that happens for trillions of connections from 100 billion neurons in relation to each other - every second, every hour, every day..)..

I became more sensitive - So sensitive, that even 1 drink made me feel so strange (Dissociation, panic attack) - Just too much nonsense and neuroplasticity.. I had to build a new "self".

In 2022, I drank one double shot of rum, once every afternoon... I liked the dopamine hit.. Like using alcohol as crack. But once a day was enough... It was when I developed more of an ego again, had hope... But I thought of this as a hopeless world - So during the pandemic, many people did this... So many opioid overdoses etc.. And it will get worse.

Take care of the "self", the mind. Your liver I'm sure is okay - People usually don't go "I can't go to work today because my liver isn't excreting proper enzymes or filtering things"..

A challenge is good... But remember that alcoholism is a rare thing (Like drinking massive amounts), usually cuz of trauma. You went through a lot with the medical scares - So there's stress (But not severe Post Traumatic Stress! I think..). People drink 15 beers a day, throw up etc. I write this all, why? Because I feel that just talking, and that you've read this far - I may have wasted your time.. But intention is good, we care... Much love though =]

Meditation would be very helpful - I recommend it for you (And for myself!)..