I grew up feeling that way because my parents never belonged so be default I didn't either anywhere my parents were involved. School was my place but I was quiet mostly because I never answered questions unless I knew that I knew the answer because I didn't want to be like my dad who always said stuff he didn't know anything about & was mostly wrong....I thought that sounded stupid & I sure didn't want to sound stupid.
Got confidence with my degree & my career but kept myself mostly on the outside without ever truly belonging. Maybe because it was what I was used to growing up & what my now ex was like in our marriage.
Fast forward to now.....I am still not a huge social person who gets their identity out of belonging BUT the groups I am involved with & the church I go to make me know that I belong. Seriously it is a different feeling & sometimes I catch myself asking if this is truly real because it is so much different than I have ever experienced before. I realize now that just because things were one way for years in our lives they don't have to continue to be that way. HOWEVER I did need to learn how to connect with people after all those years. We have to put in work to change but also our community has to be condusive to that change making a difference