I have a very close friend, who is my best girlfriend these days... well, we talk frequently since I am not working and she is on disability and doesn't work. She has a physical condition that prevents her from working. She was previously a yoga teacher for 8 years. She and I met at work many many years ago and became close friends, so we have a longtime friendship.

I realized in speaking with her about her own life issues, that I am a solution-focused coach and need to work mainly with motivated people who truly want to resolve issues/problems and move forward in life. I have little tolerance or patience for those who are not proactive... and my girlfriend is kind of like this, and it's become frustrating for me.

She complains endlessly about where and how she lives, she complains endlessly about her family dynamics, which are unhealthy and somewhat abusive. She is enmeshed with her family by choice. Yet she continues to complain and be enmeshed. She wants to earn money and get off of disability, but she is constantly distracting herself with her family issues and with her involvement with her father's home and the upkeep of that home.

Last week, she had this false, idealistic notion that she could go off of disability, not reapply and somehow be magically earning money by the end of the month, without any degree, any skills, or experience. I had to convince her to reapply and to not come off of disability until she actually has a solid plan in place for replacing that income.

I am at a place emotionally and mentally where I cannot hear her complain anymore about her living conditions, about wanting to make money, or about her family dynamics. I have given her all the advice I possibly can, and she rarely, if ever, follows it. That's fine, but she is not proactive and she is not a problem solver. To give her some credit though, she did start to learn coding online, yet I don't see her following through with it on a daily or weekly basis. She gets too distracted by her enmeshment with her family. And again, that's by choice.

So I need clients who are motivated to make real changes in their lives - who are ready and willing to do the work necessary..... that's my ideal client. So, now I know my target client, and my friend helped me to identify it.