So, I thought Jay had left something behind at my home, so I texted him about it last night. It led to talking about us.

I told him I am happy and at peace, overall. Then he said that he isn't ready for something serious..... so I told him I am not at peace about us, and that I had thought we could have had something amazing, but that he wouldn't let it happen. I also told him I was falling in love with him, but that he wasn't with me. He did not reply to that portion of the conversation.

And I think I was falling in love with him... I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I put myself out there, all vulnerable. It's Ok, ultimately, and I will be fine, I am fine.

I just woke up this morning feeling exposed and vulnerable... but that's what love does... you put yourself out there and you make yourself vulnerable. So, I said what I said, and I am not going to feel badly about it or beat myself up over it. And yes, I had the beginning feelings of falling in love.... I had butterflies, I thought about him all the time, I was excited and happy to be with him... I felt good being around his presence.

So, that's that. It's OK. I just won't attend the Wed night show for a couple weeks to let things settle down.