Hi Texan,

First of all, I am really sorry that you are going through this. Divorce is one of the most painful and difficult things to deal with. It's even worse when it comes out of nowhere and you feel blindsided.
I can relate to your experience in many ways.
I was married for 10 years before getting divorced. I especially relate to the feeling of being blindsided. I was told he did not want to be with me 15 days after celebrating our 10 year anniversary when he surprised me with a new phone and everything.
I suggested marriage counselling, giving up my job to work on the marriage, everything that was in my power. But he did not want any of it.
He showed a sense of urgency in wanting me out of his life, by using extremely hurtful words & actions which essentially translated to calling our 10-year marriage a sham.
I was completely broken at the time. But the more I thought of it, the more I realized that this was not a life I wanted to go back to.

Reading through your story, I would say you also do not want to go back to that. It will be a life of walking on eggshells, knowing how she has treated you in the past. Trust me when I say this, getting such a treatment creates a fear in you and a loss of trust in that person. You might not realize this now, but if you were ever to be back in each others' lives, you will always have this fear of "is she going to do what she did, again?". Trust me, it is not worth it unless the person you do it for really loves and deserves you.

From the sound of it, she does not. You seem like a great guy and I am sure you will meet someone who will value everything you do for your partner.
My two cents would be, just keep looking ahead and move on.

I know it is easier said than done. But not impossible (from my personal experience )

I wish you all the strength, stay happy & blessed.

Love,
Sushi