Was a nice hike, smoke everywhere. All four of us sat outside and talked for a bit.. The conversations I hear? I feel like my mind just goes in and out (When people are talking).

Idk why people like me sometimes. I don't know when to laugh, and seem cold (But silly)/awkward. I really need people that are like me (Or just allow me to get a word in/say something) - Cuz everyone just loves to talk.

Most people can just talk, like there's no problem.. They don't think about how strange reality is, and the questioning. Makes me feel dumb, or like a Gen Z with no life experience, or that I don't even know what I'm doing.

So I do my psychonaut things - Am I productive? I search conspiracies, interests, listen to music, attempt to attend to goals.. I need money. I wish I could just make enough money (On my laptop), and just travel everywhere.. bring the laptop with me, sit on the beach, constantly running away/or on the go.

Cuz things seem dark and hopeless, but I'm in a good mood - And that's most people, knowing something that I don't - About the way life works (This particular one).. I take in ~100x more information than I can process.. So that's why meditation would be good..