I am not saying you had unhealthy or toxic relationships. Unavailable doesn’t mean toxic.

I once dated a wonderful kind hearted man, upstanding citizen, long distance-real long distance . We both had teenage kids at home, and his was in a very complicated custody arrangement. We had to navigate when and how to see each other and how often, drives and flights were complicated, and then we realized we can’t ever move until kids reach adult hoods due to custody arrangements. He certainly could not move. I could but it was very. complicated. We ended up sitting down and we concluded that we can’t go on because of custody and kids. We had to make a decision. There’s nothing toxic or unhealthy about him or me.

But he was unavailable.

So it’s simple as that. Long distance and kids could make one unavailable