Quote:
Originally Posted by ruby2023
I lost all ability to control my feelings. So from the time my favorite person deleted me on thanksgiving last year, I kept trying to reason with her. I told her 8 others i favorited didn’t stay good and they all broke me. That included the lady at Arby’s. I asked her to pls don’t become like them.
I gave her reasons I NEEDED to tell her my problems all the time. I even said other ppl only occasionally tell her their problems cuz that’s all they needed. They didn’t have 8 ppl hurt them. Basically thst I did nothing wrong.
She seemed to “get it” at that moment, but reasoning with her ultimately made her worse. So anger is now my only recourse.
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Have you tried *just* sharing your problems with your therapists and not "problem dumping" on one untrained in mental health person all the time?
I can vouch for the fact that having someone using one person as a "dumping ground" for problems and wanting reassurance from that one person all the time is extremely draining, particularly when the person recieving all the problem-dumps has serious stuff going on at the same time as recieving the problem-dumps from someone
For example: I have a friend who I have known online since 2011, and she got into the habit of problem-dumping on me in 2013 (and probably 2012 as well, although I don't remember much of that year due to my own traumas), it got so bad that I had to cut off contact for a few years due to the sheer amount of traumatic stuff I was going through at the time as well, I couldn't help her into the mental health lifeboat as well as get in myself - if this makes sense
Sometimes, people have to cut others off, in order to save their own mental health
Had I not done so for myself, I would not be alive now, I would of died from suicide, due to how much bad was happening in my life back then, plus I had her problem-dumping on me constantly as well and wanting reassurance all the time.
This time around, although I let her back in, I've had to put boundaries up, so if all the bad stuff kicks off again I will stand a chance at not getting suicidial again.
Maybe one day, these people will feel able to unblock you from everything, I can't promise this cause I'm not them.
All I can do is share from my own experience that they might want to help, like I wanted to help my friend, but be unable to due to stuff they are living through.
I'll likely start a new thread to post what I remember from 2012, as and when I gain memories back, all I know for sure is I had some major stuff kicking off back then.
edited to add: you don't NEED to tell that one person all your problems all the time, yes sharing can be helpful, but that's where trained professionals come into it. Not "problem dump" on one person from work the whole time.