My last login here was in 2020, so, yeah, it's been awhile.

I've had a lot of ups and downs since. Worst, I had a full blown psychotic episode last Thanksgiving that had me in the pysch hospital 10 days. I have almost no memory of most of that period of time, and the pdoc said I probably never will remember it, but I guess I should be grateful hearing the little my husband and teenaged daughter told me. I never had anything like that happen before. I got extremely manic in the past but never so psychotic.

Of course, with the psychosis, my meds were overhauled. I'm not on much of anything I took before except for lithium and trazodone.

Anyway, since that psychotic episode, I've been falling into depression, not helped by the fact that my mother was recently diagnosed with stage 3 endometrial cancer and will be needing radiation and chemotherapy. This bout of depression has been so bad with the darkest thoughts I have ever had.

My pdoc started me on Vraylar around a week ago. I have not really noticed much except an increase in appetite. Between it and the Zyprexa I'm on now, I have gained so much weight, and having a past with an eating disorder, it's not helping things.

Anyway, I don't really know what the point of this post is. Just saying I'm around, and depression sucks so much.