I wonder if I should get an echo or 48 hour monitor for my heart.

I want the doctors to be nice to me.. and not just decrease the stimulant so fast. Cold turkey could probably kill me.

I'm so anxious about death. My doctor said "Between you and me, it's okay to exercise as intensely as you want". I should have asked him, "If I get sudden death, and I'm up there.. wherever, in the stars yknow?, would you get in trouble?"..

My parents don't have long to live. This world is also evil and disturbing. I'm crying.

God is love. That's what it is.