For most, this is just a matter of too many things on our minds and generally not being great at compartmentalization. Some people are just more scattered than others and have to be very deliberate in order to stay cognitively organized. My daughter, for instance, has struggled with ADHD for her entire life. She has figured out how to keep her tasks and all better organized as she has gotten older, but it is always an effort.

My husband, on the other hand, began showing signs of memory loss in his late forties. He had a neurological pain disorder that started affecting memory. We started noticing short-term memory issues. We had to tell him things repeatedly, often not terribly long after we had just discussed it. He mixed up appointments or forgot them entirely. He became anxious about driving distances because he would get lost. I took over finances because he couldn’t keep track anymore. It was a serious point of anxiety for him, particularly in his last 5 years. Eventually, memory assessments were done at age 55 and he was diagnosed with early-onset dementia and put on disability (first try - no lawyers involved). Unfortunately, not long after, he acquired Covid and died.

Dementia is anxiety-making and regressive. We saw signs for several years before it became clear that it was more than simple forgetfulness.

If you have concerns, particularly if you’re feeling like the memory issues are increasing and causing anxiety, ask family members if they are also noticing the symptoms (families will laugh it off for a while until they start realizing it really is a problem, not just a quirk; it’s not out of meanness so much as it can be such a slow regression that it can take years before the problem becomes so serious that it is recognized as a problem, if that makes sense). Your medical doctor or therapist can help you with finding a psychologist who does diagnostic testing for memory disorders if it seems called for.