i talked with h last night, using a couple suggestions from you and one from my friend S, and it went okay I guess, I mean he didn't go to bed pouting so I'll count it somewhat successful. He said I shouldn't be afraid of telling him what I'm feeling, that he needs time to do the things that he enjoys (watching tv), that he wants me to live my life and do things that make me happy like crocheting and going to lunch with my friends, that we should hire someone to clean the house because he's not going help me with it (ok then) and that I should keep going to my "head doctor".