Ugh the SH thoughts are back. I used the cold water approach to calm myself down and it worked. I was able to step back from the thoughts.

I think I'll try smoking to see if that helps. I asked a friend that smokes what to ask for at the store because I'm so green. I'll see if it helps the on going thoughts.

I attended a friend's birthday party. I was so stressed out because of it. Trying to act normal when I actually feel awful.

I tried to be present in the moment but it was hard because everyone was speaking another language that I don't understand.