I am literally in tears right now… went in to do my strength training circuit and I felt like a total failure. Couldn’t do it. All I could think of was that I am a loser. So I decided to do my cardio workout instead today. I was crying and seething with rage as i pounded my feet on the treadmill. After my workout, I went up to the guy at the front desk with the intent of asking him where they kept punching bags so I could punch the **** out of one; as soon as I opened my mouth, however, I literally started bawling. I couldn’t even speak coherently. It was very awkward. I feel miserable. My trainer and I are going to talk about it on Thursday. I texted her and told her I planned on quitting if the inbody scan doesn’t show any progress, despite our six-month contract. She was adamant that I stick with it, and said that weight is not the only metric that we are tracking and that a lot of factors contribute. We’ll talk about it on Thursday. I know I’m very tired most of the time and my job stresses me out Big-time. I also binge eat late at night. Those are probably not helping. All I know is that I feel very defeated.

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