This sounds like his personality. Not sure you can do much to change that.

As angry or annoyed as I might have ever been at my husband, I never would have called it “hate.”

We had some serious issues, mainly around communication and boundaries, but we both were motivated to work on ourselves individually in therapy (and occasionally in couple’s sessions). We were able to figure out better boundaries and communication strategies that helped us tremendously.

It takes both partners in a marriage to be willing to work through their individual issues and marriage issues to reset the relationship to a healthier one. I haven’t gathered that either of you are really that motivated to do that kind of work.

Hate is a strong word. Perhaps there is much more going on here than nagging? If so, is remaining in such an unhealthy relationship worth it? Seems so damaging.