View Single Post
jesyka
Poohbah
 
jesyka's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: U.S
Posts: 1,280
3
270 hugs
given
Default May 22, 2023 at 02:10 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins View Post
In one post you say: “It seems like if you don’t share the same religious or political views, you’ll be automatically rejected by other people. It’s so stupid. It’s almost like you need to be almost like them in order for them to like you or accept you. It sucks!”

A few posts later you say: “An ideal friend for me woukd be lotal, not badmouth me behind my back, be honest, kind, straightforward, definitely not passive aggressive, not overly gossipy, definitely not self absorbed, not judgmental, not critical, reliable, not flaky, fun, funny, likes most or sll of the sane things I do, not some crazy extremist religious type, not observing with fitting in, not a follower, cool, smart, into clothes, hair, makeup, movies, cats, festivals, concerts, and music too.”

I wonder if you recognize you conflicting ideas which may come off as conflicting messaging to potential friends. It reads as if you expect others to accept you for the same reasons you would reject them. Might be part of the issue.

ETA: It’s perfectly reasonable for you to have a type of friend in mind, just as it is perfectly reasonable for anyone to have style of friend in mind. However, to have a standard for friendship but not understand or accept that other people have their own standards (which are apparently about the same as your own), just doesn’t make sense and reads as a double standard: it’s okay for me, but not for others. That could become problematic and off-putting in trying to develop friendships.

People DO tend to look for like-minded friends. Perfectly normal.
To be clear, I wouldn’t reject someone for having different political opinions or religious views, but I can’t accept extreme views.

I’m open minded, but most people aren’t open minded with me. I have standrards. Why would I want to accept people who aren’t good for me? I also didn’t list most of thise qualities as must have qualities. I was asked what my ideal friends lhio would consist of, so I listed those qualities. Why would I put up with anyone who is a liar or anything like that btw?

I’m saying that other people have rejected me for a lot of things & that they didn’t even give me much of a chance at all.

I gave them a chance though. Even when I had some doubts about them. Example, this mooch I talked about on another thread. She had a lot of issues, no car, no job, had depression & anxiety & low self esteem. Talked about herself to much too.

Most people wouldn’t give someone like that a second chance. I gave her multiple chances. She blew it by being selfish, self absorbed, a user, a liar, and a mooch.

I don’t understand why I’m the one being judged when people are the ones who are constantly judging & rejecting me.

It’s like I need to be just like them like I said to be accepted. Any deviation from that seems unacceptable to other people it seems like.

I feel like the moment I say or do anything that they don’t like or agree with, they’re done with me. Most people are extremely picky, judgmental, close minded & ir’s annoying.
jesyka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote