Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinny
Yes my friend is absolutely important to me.
However, I would disagree and say that I do have tolerance for different opinions than mine. And I was keen to continue to discuss but he got annoyed and stated that I would never change his mind (I wasn’t trying to, I was explaining why I think the way I do just as he did for me).
I have difference of opinion with my husband on things. But he is open to evidence and able to discuss his views without insulting me or claiming that I’ll never change his mind. He’s also willing to admit that he doesn’t know everything.
This guy had a strong opinion on almost everything that was discussed. And he couldn’t admit, even when presented with evidence, that there might be another way to think. I think the ignorance was probably the most rattling thing.
I appreciate that my original post could have been interpreted as me being intolerant of others views but that certainly isn’t the case and I usually actually enjoy learning how others think.
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What I was suggesting was not to engage in the discussion at all. I've had people littered throughout my life that I've had fundamental differences with from social structures to belief systems. You would be surprised how completely different people can be on those levels and still have healthy and productive relationships if they operate in the spaces where they agree.
I'm not a big proponent of having to "prove" what I believe, anymore than I need another person to justify themselves to me. If it works for you, then the standard to meet has been achieved. What someone else believes is their business and their space. We all come from different backgrounds with different life experiences that can skew our perceptions on many things that others never see.
Do those experiences make us wrong for how we choose to see the world? Of course not. For many people it can be a coping mechanism that is not immediately evident on the surface. There's allot to unpack with a person if you choose to delve into social , political, or religious topics. And if both of you do not have shared experiences, then you can have very different perceptions on how many things should work.
Your husband is going to understand you infinitely better than someone else's partner because there's a history and shared experience of being with you that gives him insight and a understanding even where the two of you disagree. You KNOW his intentions are good and well meaning as are yours for him. That's a bridge you don't have with your friends partner. So if he's overbearing on these topics, then leave it alone. Going to that well is just going to wear both of you out. And if he's the one starting the debate then don't engage. Just say you understand how he feels and move on to a different subject.