@divine1966 - I wondered if I was conveying this non-engagement thing so anyone would get what I'm saying. Thanks for getting it. This brother-in-law was a professional salesman. As you say, I'm not sensing that social anxiety is driving this reticence-to-engage, not with him, nor with my nephew.

I really enjoy my more distant relatives. I've been received with such warmth on visits to aunts, uncles, cousins. Closer family has been such a challenge. I hate that I failed at another encounter. I may be taking the whole thing too seriously.

My niece is emotionally troubled. I'm sorry for her. Her mother has never been able to hold her liquor. With so much geography between where I live and where my family lives, I see them infrequently. I have such limited time to connect with them. I'm so disappointed that things went badly.