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Mendingmysoul... I have been dragged into these circular arguments. I, sadly, increased his vocabulary. He would use the new words I introduced against me. I wouldn't cave in, and so what I got from him were these dark, black eyes, with hatred in them.
I recently spent some time with another woman who is divorcing a narc who knew exactly what I was talking about regarding the look on his face.
Am sorry that you get triggered. It's taken (and I cannot say that I won't fall for it again, but I am doing my best not to...) a very conscious decision and mindset to not talk to him about anything that is absolutely necessary and even then, I keep it very short and walk away quickly to do something else.
You can never have an intelligent discussion with these people.