I'm deeply sad tonight. I'm experiencing a lot of pain that is purely mental. I'm supposed to be busying myself tidying up my apartment in preparation for suite inspections tomorrow, although I don't have a lot to do. But it's very hard to get anything done when I'm almost overcome with pain. The long weekend has ended and I have a reduced work week this coming week. But I'm starting to wonder what's even the point of any of it if I'm not going to make meaningful progress towards any goals. I wish I could find a nice woman because I desire companionship, but I fear I'm not capable of forming those kinds of relationships. I'm all over the place.