This has come to mind. I have a somewhat difficult history with the idea.

When the trouble with my ex wife started, we went into couple therapy. In the end, we ended these sessions, both convinced that it was all my fault. That was what she did: manipulate and dominate and in retrospect, this problematic power dynamic has been present in our relationship since day one. Somewhere in this period, the therapist suggested to have me test for autism (my ex wife was a doctor who, up to that point had been criticizing the hype of branding everybody as autistic). After that, she attributed everything that irritated her as my autism. This lasted for 3 years. It really hurt and I have never let this idea go. Thinkin about the possibility has been very painful for a long time.

After the divorce I asked my psychiatrist, whom I had been seeing for roughly years at the time. He stated he saw no reason to test for ***. When I was hospitalised years later, I remember my penultimate session being about autism. He took the DSM and I do have many traits, but he also explained that autism is not just about ticking boxes but also about why one has certain thoughts, emotions or behaviours. As he knew me for a long time, he could attribute everything to traumatic or problematic circumstances that I have been living in for longer periods of time (bullying when I was 9-11 years old, a very problematic relationship with my parents due to which I ended up in a career that was probably the worst match imaginable and eventually my marriage).

At the same time, I saw a psychologist. She too saw no reason whatsoever to test for ***. When hospitalized, I asked the same question, both to my psychiatrist and to the supervising psychiatrist. They know me less well of course (I have only been there for two months) but they had the same answer: in my case, they considered testing for *** a waste of time.

Shortly before my hospitalisation, I switched to a new psychologist. I have been seeing her for almost two years now. She too sees no reasong to test for autism. We often joke about this - like, when I turn up exacly on time for three sessions in a row (which is easy because I take the bus which always arrives at the same moment) or when we have to meet in another room because her office is being redecorated - which takes some of the weight of thinking about autism off my shoulders.

Yesterday, I had a particularly difficult day. I had a first consultation with a new psychiatrist and honestly, when I look back at what happened in therapy, I don't really believe it will make a difference and I don't trust him either. To my surprise, he was very understanding (on the other hand, I pointed out what happened during therapy the last 20 odd years). I have my next consultation in a month and in the meanwhile he is going to contact therapists going back 10 years (!). I got no medication; here too, I have a history of rare side effects, including a heart failure that was probably triggered by an antidepressant.
We will probably go through some diagnostic trajectory. He made a piramid with anxiety at the top, trauma just below that, attachment one storey lower and *** just below that. He doesn't rule it out.

About being neuro atypical ... I met up with a colleague of ten years ago a few weeks back. He has been diagnosed with ADD in his early fourties. I could relate to many of hís experiences and I could definitely live with this ... I think it matches my chaotic nature.