Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueowl
@ Have Hope,
I used to watch Andrew's videos and learned a lot. But then, it got to the point that watching them made me upset because what was going through my head was... how did I miss this? how could I not have realized this earlier?
Today's video, the one where he said narcs treat strangers better than you... So true.
What pains me and hurts is that these people knew all along what they were doing. At the same time, I watched a different video where rather than wish karma or ill, to wish them healing. |
So, what is your answer? Were you too in love to want to face the fact that it is abuse? Did you think instead that it was all somehow your own fault or something you've done to deserve that kind of treatment? Did you ignore the signs of abuse and dismiss them?
It can take many people years to realize that they're being abused and for many different reasons. Many women AND men on my Facebook abuse forums say that they thought it was their fault, and they took the blame that their abusive partners placed on them.
You are not to blame, and you are not to blame for not recognizing it until now.. but I think it would help you to get to the bottom of it so that you can stop beating yourself up over not knowing and so that you can forgive yourself for not knowing.
I have not forgiven my narc ex in my own mind yet... I have and I haven't. Parts of me are still outraged by his treatment of me and it is still a little too fresh. And I don't wish him healing.. they will never heal, by the way, and they will never be better than who they are now. I wish my ex well, but that is it.