Ah, expectations will always do us in. Mixed with alcohol.....never a good combination.
Only family I have left is my daughter & 3rd & 4th cousins I never got together with even when family was alive. I keep in contact a little on FB but would never consider getting together IRL.
You actually didn't do bad given the circumstances. Would have been difficult to respond differently. I personally wouldn't do ALANON for people I seldom see even if family