Hi All,
I've tried for days now to check in and express how I am feeling but end up erasing it all and saying forget it. I'm not doing so great these days and I can't really explain to you why. My therapist dismissed my thoughts about my medicine maybe not being as effective as it once was with the notion my living environment is too stressful.There is merit to both sentiments if you ask me. I'm apprehensive to change dosages/meds anyway -- but I don't think my ability to cope with my living situation is any more "stressful" than it's been for the last 3 years. Perhaps I'm just run down.

IOP hasn't been the best for me. In fact, I missed my individual appointment and left early yesterday from IOP because I just didn't feel up to doing the work anymore that day. Some of it is rather repetitive and a bit juvenile, if not almost hippy dippy. I'm not trying to poopoo all over my IOP group but it really just seems hit or miss.


I've actually in the last two days or so taken up German again. It's a surprise because my mind hasn't been able to focus on anything for a while. I guess that's something to be happy about.


I've been taking my meds as prescribed, but I'm really tired of feeling this way and want to say "screw it, meds aren't worth it". I know how dumb of an idea it is to stop taking meds, especially cold turkey -- I've no plan to do that, but it's a thought that is creeping in more and more everyday. I feel better today than I did the last few -- I did start taking my low dose Seroquel at night for sleep. Perhaps it is helping some? I don't know really.


I still havent made my appointment with my psychiatrist. I gotta get on that, or I'll end up without meds one way or the other.

Well... I've shared all I really wanted to share. I don't feel great. It's where I am. It's just suffer through for now -- no one believes medicine changes are necessary and lord knows suffering is about the only thing I know how to freaking do.


Take care everyone