Just to say it again- you are definitely not alone!

Anxiety is so awful to feel, especially when it seems like it's not coming from a specific direction. How can you fix what you're not sure needs fixing?

Are you familiar with what (I think) is called the anxiety cycle? From what you've posted, maybe you would relate to that? Not sure if this will be a good explanation, but you go through a round of anxiety, deal with it by something you do (maybe to distract yourself or make yourself feel better? Go shopping, go to work, have a beer, watch a movie, eat a cupcake, etc.) that doesn't directly deal with the anxiety. In a sense, that kind of gives the anxiety some credibility- because your mind has kind of run away from it. When it comes back within a short time, it tends to be as bad or worse. You repeat the cycle of putting a distraction band aid on it and it just returns, no better.

If that feels like a familiar pattern, perhaps you'd get some benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy? It's the hardest easy thing you'll ever do.

My CBT was essentially just sitting with the anxiety until it passed, or even going into it - however long that took. I'll give you an example, just so you can have an idea. So, being a bit agoraphobic, my inclination was often to be quick and head home ASAP. So one day I was out running errands and DD needed craft supplies for school. I started having a pretty bad anxiety attack, the kind that makes me want to run home, so pulled into the parking lot, shut off the car, and just sat there for fifteen minutes until it passed. Then I was okay, did shopping and headed for home. The car needed gas, but not desperately, and the gas station was very busy. And again, I was getting very anxious and just wanted to be back at home. I told myself that gas could wait- come back when there are fewer people out and I'm more ready. That's listening to the anxiety and letting it be the boss. Complying and going home would be agreeing with the anxiety and giving it credence that there was actually something to be afraid of- when my logical brain knew there wasn't.

At that point (and in the past I would have just gone home), I recognized the fear, so forced myself to pull into the gas station, navigate the busy traffic, and get gas. Was it easy? No. Did it work? Yes. For a while, but that pattern has to be repeated many times to eventually climb out of the hole. Hope that story makes some sense, since all our situations/experiences are different.

Also want to reiterate that I have no opinion of medication versus no medication. It's really whatever works for an individual, but this is just my experience with it, in hopes that someone can gleen a few nuggets out of it.

Hope you're having a great day, Billy!