I am at a total loss. I will keep this as short and sweet as I can. I want advice from you all about this situation.

Simply we've been married over 7 years and in that marriage he had one affair with a woman early on and we've moved past that. Then a couple years ago I had a single inappropriate conversation with a mutual male friend that I confessed to and we moved past. Though all that we both laid it all out there and I mean allllllll of it from our past sexual experiences, secrets, trauma. It was freeing and to be that close and open to another person has been amazing. You can really be yourself freely. With all that trauma we agreed years ago to cut out porn from our marriage. We have made videos to substitute going to the internet and using porn. His libido is higher than mine and that has caused us some issues. He would like it daily, multiple times a day and I am satisfied with 3 times a week, which I think is still a lot. So our relationship is not without its struggles. Emotionally I need more connection and conversations and physically he needs more - that has been the issue - we each have to give more and accept less and it is hard for each of us.

Okay so last night I found his secret reddit account with M4M postings and lots of trans male to female porn where top surgery had been done but not bottom surgery. In our letting it all our conversations mentioned above he did disclose his attraction or appeal to women who had a penis. I have asked him multiple times if he is gay or bi. He says no he is straight. With finding his secret reddit account and confronting him and he admitted to having sexual conversations with these men, but never meeting up I asked again....are you sure you are not bi or gay? I let him know I can be a lot of things for him but a male I cannot be, a female with a penis I also cannot be.

We have broken trust with one another so many times and I thought years ago we had an understanding and openness for truth and I held up my end and disclosed any temptations or struggles I would have to keep us on the right path and I feel he engaged in more betrayal behavior and I am hurt and at a loss to even stay in the marriage.

If he is bi my only worry is him not exploring the male desires he has and that causing cheating and a divorce. If he is bi and he does want to explore I just want to know so I can exit this relationship positively. We are blended and there are kids involved. I want to cause the least amount of trauma to all.

Thoughts??