I am still struggling with it, to be honest. I wasn't brought up to identify and look after my own needs. I often felt guilty for putting myself first. For wanting to be respected. That all stems from the dysfunctional dynamic in my "family of origin". A significant "inner void" developed in myself. That's because to survive in my family, I had to walk on eggshells and put the caregivers' needs ahead of my own. This is called "parentification".


I helped others before myself in hope that they would help me in return. I used to invest a lot in other people, instead of investing directly in myself.

The pattern repeated in my adult life and I, as a result, was in an abusive relationship with a "narcissist" who took advantage of me and whom I allowed to control me.

You might want to start a separate thread about codependency, so you can get feedback and different points of views from other people.

I did a quick search on this forum, and there are already some threads that you might wish to read:

codependency
https://mysupportforums.org/search.p...rchid=10167317

codependent
https://mysupportforums.org/search.p...rchid=10167321

Hugs to you, too!