It can be so hard, SH...

I, too, struggled to hide my emotions at the office job.

The two things that helped me was to make it into a sort of game whereby I'd pretend to be an actress and see how many positive responses I could elicit. Also concentrating on the things I could control on my end and that meant extra effort to go the extra mile and learn more and train myself (where training was lacking) to deal with the stress. I don't know whether I explained that well. Anyway, it is exhausting and my heart goes out to you.

I hope you find good psychological counsel soon.

Hugs