Was coping okay (cleaning, cooking, thinking about fixing things) until my (poor) mother returned home just saying "That boy is always smiling and kind", referring to a neighbour my age who is moving in the nearby apartment
I started saying "Well i am sorry but I too used to be active and smiling just some years ago" and she was sad but also kinda gave me a silent treatment
So i tried to stop but we had a discussioni and i eventually screamed "what do you want?"
Then realized i have just been a beast for six to ten years straight and wish this wasn't true