Welcome @Strugglin! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I relate to much of what you wrote! Some of the challenges I've overcome. Others I, too, still battle with. I also know some will never be conquered. Or not fully.

I hope you'll consider addressing some of those topics as separate threads here. Regulars and lurkers here would be grateful. This "Bipolar Check-in" thread does not give adequate attention to them.