Rincewind, that sounds very distressing. I too am sorry you feel the need for potentially extreme measures.

I like CANDC's advice. It is very good.

I'm assuming you're male, given you referenced castration, so here's an idea that you can research if you'd like, to see if it might be appropriate for you. Availability may also depend on where (what country) you live, but here's the info on the offchance it may help:

It's an herb called vitex.

It's generally used by women who are trying to get pregnant but have unbalanced hormones, or those experiencing hormone issues during menopause. It seems to be very safe stuff, I've taken it for a few years to balance out the misery of mid life female hormone issues. It also seems to reduce anxiety symptoms for some people (myself included).

However, in men, it tends to reduce libido, and if I recall some history correctly, monks would drink vitex tea to reduce their libido. It's available in pill and tea form, you might even be able to find the tea at your local grocery store, depending on where you are.

Do your own research though. Make sure it seems right and appropriate for you.

Anyhow, I wish you much luck.