Do you want to be with him? There is a great deal here to deal with.
If you do want to be with him,, my suggestion would be to go over the points you mentioned here privately with him and explain that he needs to change in order for there to be any possibility of a relationship. If he says that he is willing to change, then discuss how this change could come about, as below. In addition, I think he needs to see a therapist for assistance in extricating himself from enmeshment with his mother.
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Once we had a trip planned and she said she was not feeling well. When he wanted to go, she burst into tears.
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This is emotional blackmail. He absolutely must go with you every time she tries this type of stunt.
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As soon as she had a cold, she told him that she did not want to feel lonely in her illness, forcing him to stay with her.
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This does not "force" him to stay with her. That was his choice, and it was the wrong one. He must go with you every time she pulls this stunt.
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What's more she was texting him and she was reminding him that she loved him the most, etc.
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He should tell her that she must never compete with you, and that he will not respond to such messages.
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She was forcing him to declare that she was the most important person for him.
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See above.
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She was talking to him like he was a little boy, and he has never told her to stop.
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This does suggest serious need for therapy for her. How does he feel about the way she speaks to him? How do you feel about being with a guy whose mother speaks to him in this manner?
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Later she started to criticise me and my gifts for him. Once she didn't like the T-shirt I bought him, another time she didn't like the perfume. It influenced my self-esteem.
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He must tell her to stop that.
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When I told him that it hurt me, he either said that she cares for him, or he talked and she said she didn't know what I meant, that she likes me so much, that I am a wonderful, valuable woman
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"She cares for him" is a totally unacceptable response.
Her position is she never did the criticising that you have identified?
If she loves you so much, she should make you feel loved.