It's not hard for me to believe that he does have feelings for you. If he didn't make you feel loved, it would be easy for you to walk away. It is very hard to give up someone who provides us with love. You need love, as we all do. He may very well love you and want you. However, he also wants to keep his mother happy. He has been striving to keep her satisfied all his life. He wants to keep you both happy. She has been #1 in his heart, since he was a small child. She has no intention of settling for being #2. She will fight tooth-and-nail to not let any woman diminish her status as #1. You can't have a healthy marriage or relationship with a man whose mother is able to manipulate him with guilt and will do it all the time. You are a threat to her status as his main love object. She will put enormous psychological pressure on him to choose her over you. That's the only way she can feel reassured that she is #1 in his heart.

You say that he "must" do this and he "must" do that. It is not for you to say what he must do. You cannot choose what he will do. He has the right to choose how he will live. This man is a "mama's boy." That's who he is. So you are trying to influence him by saying you will reject him, unless he acts the way you think he should. He must set the boundaries you think he should have.

I agree with you that there are no boundaries between this man and his mother. I agree with you that he has an unhealthy dependence on his mother's approval. I don't believe you can alter that.