When will I learn to trust you and the fact that no matter what I say you won’t react with horror, disgust, ridicule or rejection? Every single time you just take it in your stride and tell me it’s okay that I feel so strongly towards you and that you completely understand.

I still wish you would clarify what is happening in your life that is causing you to be sad. I suspect you and your wife are in a really bad place, perhaps splitting up? Why she would ever stop loving you though I don’t know, she’s very lucky to have you. I worry about you and I felt your hurt and sadness too.

But you talking directly to my young parts and telling them it’s okay to want what they want and if they want to colour together or read a story together then we can absolutely do that they just need to ask, means more to that little 5 year old than they will ever tell you. They now just need to build the courage to ask, I wish you would just take the lead though. Problem with all of this though is that it just makes me want you to be my dad even more.

The work with the Russian Dolls to help understand and identify my different parts was actually really useful. I know I was hesitant, but I’m glad I took the risk - I think this may be a way to finally breakthrough some of my defences.

Thank T. I felt extremely connected to you today.