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Old May 30, 2023, 02:15 PM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,966
Quote:
You say that he "must" do this and he "must" do that. It is not for you to say what he must do. You cannot choose what he will do. He has the right to choose how he will live. This man is a "mama's boy." That's who he is. So you are trying to influence him by saying you will reject him, unless he acts the way you think he should. He must set the boundaries you think he should have.
He is the way he is.

She is the way she is.

Right now, there is no healthy relationship possible between them.

Right now, he seems to be saying "I'm not changing. You should change. Let my mother do whatever she wants."

In my mind, the proper response to that is: "This mother-son relationship is a dealbreaker for me. If you want me, you must change. Otherwise, suit yourself."

In my view, this "must" would be completely appropriate. If he wants her, he must change. No change, no relationship.
Thanks for this!
Blueowl, Open Eyes